I Can See
by Cally Starkiller
Summary: "They hated me." "They ignored me." A promise between Anders and Amell was left unresolved due to Amell's cousin, Hawke, years later. Implied F!Hawke/Fenris. One-sided Anders/F!Hawke.


**Inspired by: John Lennon's Oh My Love**

**Notes: Sorry if it feels kinda rushed in the end, I wanted to get this out for a friend by tonight so here. **

**I own nothing. **

**Read. Review. Roadkill. **

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><p>Lorelai Amell had been alone in her aunt's room for awhile now. Faint voices that seemed to be yelling but about what is beyond her. The only thing she knows is that hunger and thirst were both vying for attention and her stomach growled while her mouth was dry. Deciding to not wait it out any longer she went into her aunt's wardrobe and picked out the dress her mother and aunt loved and had wanted her to wear when she was older. Maybe it would make her mother notice her. She'd like that.<p>

The midnight blue dress swallowed up her thin figure, billowing out before the girl. She grabbed the sides of her dress and lifted them up so she was able to walk, heading out of her room. Tiptoeing into her mother's room, Lorelai eyed the painted portrait of a couple. They looked exactly like her parents but younger and happier. She wished she could see them that way.

Lorelai exited the room and made her way to the top of the stairwell, peering down below at the source of the yelling. Her parents. All she could make out from their talking was _'she cost us everything' _and_ 'that thing isn't my child'. _She wanted to deny that they were discussing her but deep down she knew. She knew she wasn't wanted.

There were no more parties, no more people visiting, and no more attention to the Amell girl in the days that followed. But she didn't understand why. All she did was give what her parents want. Lorelai heard her father complaining about a guest who had a hot temper and how it bothered him so. She wanted her father to like her and her mother to see her thus she started imagining the cold and the snow and the ice. And it just…happened.

Out of the corner of her eye Lorelai saw tall men in shiny armor. And those same tall men in shiny armor were the ones that took her away from her home. As they took a hold of her she jerked back away from them. "Mother?" Her dark blue eyes questioned her parents. Only the backside of her mother and the disappointment in her father's face were her answer.

"If at all possible…I'd like that dress back." Lorelai's mother said, still turned around away from her daughter. The men nodded in acknowledgement. Lorelai stared at her mother's back side, tears welling up in her eyes.

The men, that she later learned were called templars, dragged Lorelai out the doors with her kicking and screaming. The very thing she did to bring all of this including the templars could possibly take them away. Maybe it worked vice versa. Lorelai tried focusing on the cold like last time and her fingers flickered in the direction of the templar holding her left arm. The templar on the right side who seemed larger in comparison to the others saw this motion and suddenly the Amell girl collapsed. Feeling drained and tired she stopped struggling and simply let them do what they wanted.

The last thing she saw was light green eyes gleaming behind a metal helm.

...

It was damp. And humid. Fog drifted all around her. Wearing no boots put extra wear and tear into her small feet, feeling the blisters form on the soles. But inside the looming dark tower everything was cold and dark. The atmosphere changed a little. The stone ground provided comfort to her burning feet and a strange sensation tinkled at her. Unsure of what is was, she chose to ignore it for the moment, gazing all around her.

Everything screamed 'Get out' but at the same time she felt at home. But her example of home wasn't merry so calling this place home was not entirely a good thing.

The templars led her up a steep stairwell, Lorelai fascinated by how far up they went but soon her fascination ended when they went into an office occupied by two older men. One in a robe and the other in armor. Lorelai instinctively flinched away but the templar's made her hold her ground.

Words sprang from their mouth and sentences were being said but she wasn't sure of what. She didn't really pay mind to them, gaze settling on the ground, completely ignoring them. It wasn't until a pair of simple robes landed at her feet that she jerked out of her daydreaming.

Hesitantly picking up the robes Lorelai was escorted outside the office and left standing there, alone. She used one hand to lift up her blue dress while the other held onto her robes tightly.

Drifting through the long endless hallways, lost, Lorelai felt a tap on her shoulder. Slowly turning around to face the person, she half looked at him and half stared past him.

"Anders." A hand jerked out to meet hers and she could only look at it, using the hand that was holding up her dress sides to hold his. This boy named Anders felt her trembling hand and frowned. He knew the feeling.

Anders glanced at her current appearance and then at the robes she was carrying. "Come on. I think you're suppose to be going this way…" He guided the Amell girl to the girl's dormitories, letting her change into her new clothing, and walked around with her awhile longer.

"Lorelai." She said quietly, feeling even smaller standing next to this strange boy. Subconsciously she reached for his hand and buried her face into his chest. Anders flinched at the touch but slowly made the move to hug her, understanding completely.

A question passed between them, both of the small children curious, both of them wondering. _What's your story?_

"They hated me." Anders managed to choke out, bitterness layering his low voice.

"They ignored me." Lorelai whispered, voice muffled by his presence but kept holding onto him as if he was her lifeline.

Though they've barely met, they already felt closer than ever.

"I miss my dress…" Lorelai said as an after-thought, peeking out from her safe zone to stare at passer-bys in colorful but boring robes, making her think of her blue dress.

Anders chuckled a little. "Don't worry. I'm sure the templars probably stowed it away somewhere. I'll help you find it if I can. It'll turn up someday, trust me."

And Lorelai Amell believed him.

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><p><strong>Some years later...<strong>

Hawke was becoming thoroughly frustrated at Isabella. The pirate insisted on finding a dress for her to wear. It wasn't as if Hawke was against dresses, it's just that she wasn't sure she had any. Surprisingly, the Amell estate had no hidden elegant clothes or fancy jewelry, just an abundant amount of table cloth and candles. The Amell family really must've been into parties.

"There's got to be something hidden in here! Let's check your room again." Isabella headed into Hawke's room, bending down to search under her bed.

"You already checked there." Hawke leaned against the door frame, watching as Isabella flitted from place to place like a butterfly.

"Maybe I'll just buy you a hat. They have this amazing hat shop down in Lowtown." Isabella frowned, crossing her arms. "I was so sure this place had gold-"

"-and silver for you to stow away?" Hawke finished.

"-golden dresses." Isabella said instead, shaking her head. "I'm not always stealing you know! I can restrain myself. Well. You find something to wear. I'll go distract your man." Isabella sauntered out of the room, leaving Hawke alone.

"Maker's breath…" Hawke decided to search in the wardrobe again, blue eyes searching every nook and cranny. But this time, she found something. Dust wafted up to her nose, making her sneeze, and Hawke shook the dress. Dirt and more dust drifted in the air around her and she examined it.

Simple. Blue. Long. Flowing.

Hawke quickly changed into the dress, surprised at how soft and warm it felt. Who knows how long this dress might've been there? Putting on her father's old boots, Hawke smiling cheekily at her reflection in the mirror.

A knock was heard and Hawke cursed, running out of her room with a slam of the door behind her and slid down the banister, jumping off at the end. "Well well well, look who it is. Hawke?"

Hawke looked from Isabella to Anders of all of the people in the world. "Anders." Hawke grinned, awkwardly going around him to reach outside.

His intense amber eyes seemed to be fixated on her dress. "Is it alright? I found it only a minute ago. Lucky timing I suppose."

Suddenly Ander's viewpoint shifted from Hawke to her cousin, Lorelai Amell.

"_I miss my dress…" The pitiful look in her baby face churned his insides. He guessed that the templars took her clothes when they left the girl's dormitories. It's what they did to him. _

"_Don't worry. I'm sure the templars probably stowed it away somewhere. I'll help find it if I can. It'll turn up someday, trust me." He gave her another tight squeeze, hugging her still, memories of when he first came to the Circle emerging. _

Anders recognized it immediately. That same blue dress. He promised the Amell girl that he'd find it someday. And he did.

Too bad he couldn't tell her about it.

Anders felt the urge to hug Hawke, simply to relive that one small moment. So he did. He gathered her up into his arms, trying hard to grin and not look hurt. "You and Amell are too similar, I swear."

"And everyday you remind me of that fact." Hawke returned, giving Isabella a 'What's going on?' look over Anders' shoulder but kept hugging him. "You're tall. Too tall." Hawke said in between, letting go Anders. She took the hug as a friendly gesture. Anders took the hug as a gentle reminder and something much more.

She didn't understand.

But that was alright with him. He smiled. "If I had a coin for every time I heard that-"

"Fenris!" Hawke's face light up at the sight of the Tevinter elf. Anders stepped aside, not bothering to even look at the man but instead stared at Hawke's dress. That hauntingly familiar dress.

"Where are we going? The Chantry so we can plot secret evil plans and eat our Quanari cheeses or the Hanged Man, where vagrants will eat our cheeses for us and leave the plotting to us?"

"Hawke." Fenris felt surprised at Hawke's happy reaction at seeing him but let a small beaming smile show. "I trust you were just leaving. Mage."

"That I was." Anders said in a clipped tone, matching Fenris' voice. Anders, although pained, moved along away from the pirate and couple. From behind him he could hear Hawke laugh and Fenris right along with her, happiness radiating from them.

A soft breeze tickled the back of his neck, a bright blue sky dotted with clouds introducing him into what was supposed to be a good day weather wise, the sun baking down on him and the trees in the plaza greeting him. He could see the wind. He could see the trees. He could see the clouds. He could see the sky.

He could see everything. (It was still a blessing really, to be out in the open instead of being trapped in that tower as a child.)

But he couldn't see why Hawke chose Fenris.


End file.
